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Austin Powers
In addition to being a parody of James Bond, Austin Powers represents an archetype of 1960s Swinging London, with his constant advocacy for free love- defending this attitude in an argument with Doctor Evil by arguing that they were rebelling against authority figures like Doctor Evil and the movement would have used less drugs if they had been aware of the long-term consequences-, his use of obscure impressions and his clothing style (including crushed velvet suits and Beatle boots). With his flamboyant ways and never-changing dress-sense, he is deliberately made to stick out from his surroundings; though, he invariably escapes detection when disguised, particularly when he talks about things that would have had no place in the 1990s. Despite this, he displays an intense devotion to his work; after being thawed out from cryogenic freezing and informed that Dr. Evil is on the loose, he immediately asks "When do I begin?" In the many instances he takes off his clothes, he is revealed to have a very hairy chest. Much of his attitude toward relationships could be a parody of Bond's lack of reflection with regard to the loss of a woman. For example, after partner Vanessa Kensington is revealed to be a fembot and explodes on their honeymoon, Austin mourns at first, then joyously exclaims, "Wait a tick. . . that means I'm single again! Oh, behave!" and hilariously proceeds to dance through the hotel in the nude. Some of his abilities include a kind of hypnosis he learned from an Indian Guru, "a chaste man, who died from a disease that had all the hallmarks of syphilis". Austin does display a streak of morality dating from this period; for example, he will not make love to a girl (such as Vanessa Kensington after a night in Las Vegas) when she "is drunk; it's not right". This morality is not completely without irony, since Austin does not consider other mind-altering drugs to fall under this limitation. From the original film, he lists only two things which scare him: one is nuclear war, the other are "carnies" or "circus folk". His signature drink is Captain Morgan's mixed with Tab (as opposed to James Bond's martini). He is the author of Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing is My Bag, Baby! One of the things Austin is best known for is his "mojo." His mojo is the physical representation of his sex drive. It is what gives Austin Powers his legendary sexual prowess and energy; without it, he would seemingly be rendered impotent (such as when he loses his erection while having sexual intercourse with Ivana Humpalot after Fat Bastard steals it), but finds that he IS this mojo and needs no physical representation (hence why his past self is able to have sex with Felicity during the credits). (This scene from the sequel mocks emotional depth in movies) (From Wikipedia) Battle vs. Maxwell Smart (by Samurai234) Maxwell Smart is standing outside the CONTROL building when suddenly his shoe phone rings. He answers it and hears that KAOS agents have taken hostages at a school. He hangs up and goes in to tell agent 99 about the situation. A car pulls up to a school and Maxwell and Agent 99 exit the car. Maxwell is holding an AKS-74U and 99 is holding a MP5A2. "I think we should go in quietly. I don't want to give away our presence." Says Maxwell. "Got it." replies 99. They quietly enter the school, careful not to attract attention. Unaware to them, Austin Powers and Vanessa Kensington have already gotten the job done. Austin has a Beretta M12 and Vanessa has FN FAL. They prepare to leave, unaware that Maxwell and 99 are ready to fire on them. "Dammit! We're getting shot!" yells Austin. "Well, stop yelling and fire back!" replies Vanessa. As they both fire at each other, Vanessa is hit in the arm, but surprising, no blood is drawn. "Vanessa, is something wrong? Your not bleeding." asks Austin. "Yes, uh, just keep firing!" She suddenly runs out of ammo, and decides to sneak away. She switches to her Colt Model 1908 Vest Pocket and sneaks up behind 99. She shots 99 in her head, killing her. "NNNNOOOO!!!!" Maxwell yells. Maxwell angrily fires at them with the last rounds in his AKS-74U, only to run out of ammo and miss. Maxwell runs off and grabs 99's MP5A2 as he does so. Austin and Vanessa run after him, unaware that Maxwell is hiding in a classroom. As soon they approach the door, he runs out and knocks Austin to the ground. He unleashes the all the round from the MP5 on Vanessa, ripping off her skin and revealing her Fembot body. "No, No!" Austin says. "Wait, Vanessa's dead... That means I'm single again! Oh, behave!" Maxwell, who now has his SIG Sauer P226, fires at Austin, who pulls out his Walter PPK and fires back. Maxwell hides in a locker cabinet and waits. Austin walks by, but he is strangled by Maxwell with his Garrote. Austin manages to grab a bottle and smashes it on Maxwell's head. He tries to stab Maxwell with the broken bottle, but Maxwell pulls his Colt Detective Special and shots Austin in his heart and forehead. Maxwell pulls out his shoe phone and says "Chief, this is agent 89. The mission is complete, but agent 99 was killed. I think I'm going to resign." Winner: Maxwell Smart Expert's Opinion While Smart's small arms and rifles were lackluster, his better abilities as a better spy overall in combat allowed him to grab a win. To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here. Battle vs. Black Dynamite (by ShaolinTiger86) In an abandoned warehouse, Austin Powers is in search of Dr. Evil. On the other end of the warehouse, Black Dynamite gets out of his car and heads in there, hoping to find one of his nemesis, Fiendish Dr. Wu. "Just where is Dr. Evil?" Austin asked himself. "Why don't you try asking me where's Fiendish Dr. Wu." said Black Dynamite. "Who are you?" Austin asked. "The name's Black Dynamite!" Black Dynamite introduced himself as the lyrics "DY-NO-MITE, DY-NO-MITE!" blared throughout the warehouse. "Did Dr. Evil sent you here to do his bidding?" Austin asked as he got in his fighting stance. "No, but I see you looking to get your ass kicked, can you dig it?" Black Dynamite responded as he brandished his nunchuks. "SUEY" yelled Black Dynamite as he charged at Austin Powers. Black Dynamite's nunchuks connected with Austin's chin, sending him reeling. "That really hurt, baby." said Austin. "Not as bad as it's gonna hurt." Black Dynamite responded. Black Dynamite continued twirling his nunchuks around before catching Austin off guard with a spinning heel kick to the temple. "That's it, no more Mr. Nice Guy." said Austin. As Black Dynamite was about to hit Powers with the nunchuks, Powers evaded the attack and caught him with a Judo Flip. "Judo Flip!" said Austin. "You got some moves but not enough to beat Black Dynamite." said Black Dynamite. "We'll see about that, baby." said Austin. Black Dynamite charged at Powers with each strike but Powers managed to maneuver his way around Dynamite's attacks before catching him with a Judo Chop. "Judo Chop!" yelled Austin. Powers went for another Judo Chop but it was blocked by Black Dynamite, who delivered a chop of his own followed by a front kick. "Had enough, Honky?" Black Dynamite inquired. "Honky? What's that?" Powers responded before Dynamite punched him in the face. Infuriated, Powers pulled out a Walther PPK/S and starting shooting at Dynamite, who was now running from the bullets, and looking for cover. "Looks like the tides has turned, baby." smiled Powers. "Oh yeah, will try this on for size." Dynamite responded as he pulled out his Smith and Wesson Model 629. As the bullets from Dynamite's Smith and Wesson aimed for Powers, two of the bullets hit the British Secret Agent's gun out of his hand, and grazing him in the shoulder. Seeking shelter himself, Powers hid behind some cover also but found a Beretta M12. "You given up already?" Black Dynamite inquired. "If so, Scram, I say, Scram!" Black Dynamite added. Powers caught Dynamite by surprise by shooting rapidly at him with the Beretta M12. "You're the one that should be scraming baby, yeah." laughed Powers as Dynamite avoided the bullets. "Two can play it that game, sucka!" yelled Dynamite who pulled out a Cobray 37mm, firing away at Powers. Austin managed to hit Dynamite in the shoulder as the black vigilante started to back peddle while still shooting at Powers. Another bullet hit Dynamite in the shin, causing him to fall. Powers dropped the Beretta M12, grabbed his Micro Uzi, and walked towards where Dynamite was laying. "Any last words, baby?" Austin asked with a smile. "Yeah, I got one..." Black Dynamite answered. "Look, up in the sky!" Black Dynamite added. Powers looked up and saw a boom mic dangling in front of him. "What the?" Powers inquired. As Powers was distracted by the boom mic, Black Dynamite pulled out a Colt MK IV, shooting Powers in the chest. "Ha ha, I placed that boom mic before the fight began!" Black Dynamite declared over the fallen Powers. "You...sneaky bastar-" Powers said before getting shot in the chest again. Black Dynamite then posed in a victorious manner with his nunchuks in hand, and Colt MK IV pointed outward. "DY-NO-MITE, DY-NO-MITE!" Winner: Black Dynamite Expert's Opinion What gave Black Dynamite the victory was that despite Powers being equipped in the same manner as Dynamite, he had better training, usage of weapons, good smarts and a killer instinct. To see the original battle, weapons, and votes, click here. 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